The thoughts that I have, all the time, every day.

I am afraid.
I am afraid all the time.
I am afraid all the time that you hate me.
I am afraid all the time that you hate me because I talk too much, because I think too hard, because I say the wrong the thing, becuase I'll never be pretty enough, because I try too hard to be your friend.
I am afraid that I will always be hated.
I cannot be happy with my friends because I am too paranoid.
I am too sensitive to nothing.
I come off a lot meaner than I am.
I talk too much and no one cares.
I hear what I am saying and it does not and never will matter; what I hear more, though, is the silence after I speak.
I should never speak again.
Why did you make this way, G-d?
Why are you letting this happen to me?
How can I measure up to what I live in?
I am not smart, and I am not pretty, and there is no other option.
All I ever hear is what a girl is wished to be, and I will never live up to it.
Which means I will never get married, which means I will never feel love, which means I will live alone, die alone.
I should get it over with, then.
I should just go to sleep and never wake up.
I should just never eat again,
I will get sick and I will get thin.
But I can't even do that.
I can't even self destruct.
I am incapable of finishing anything that I start.
The only person who knows how I think is my mother; she says there's demons in my head. There are demons in my head. No wonder everything I do is wrong. I have demons.
When I try, they find things wrong.
When I cry, I am weak. They yell.
Why do I keep trying?
What makes me happy I'll never have.
I'll never be happy.
These thoughts will just get worse and worse.
How can this be fixed? [repeat.]