Have I gotten down to the level of not listening to my itunes library, but instead listening to when Tim Reihmerr's team lead at the awakening a couple weeks ago but I had to miss it?
I mean...no.
That would be SO weird. SO IHOP. SO WEIRD.
Oh man guys, I've assimilated.
Anyhow, I wore leggings today, instead of pants. My hair is getting longer. I spent pretty much allllll night working on typing out my testimony and realized I like talking about my self just SO much. I mean, I really like it guys. It might be a problem. Also, I have lead such an awkwardly charmed/tragic life. Thank the Lord he saved me, right? I mean, I was a Mess McMessinstein.. Also. this blog. Mess McMessinstein.
So I've been reliving some of the music of my youth and songs that I completely forgot that I loved like
Cup O' Tea by the Newsboys, I Got Your Number by the Newsboys, or Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot.
Oh, Christian Music.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME YOU GUYS. I JUST LISTENING TO TIM REIHMERR AT THE AWAKENING TWO WEEKS AGO ON THE ARCHIVE FOR LIKE A HALF HOUR (mostly because Jonas Park, Ashley Prior & Natasha Koppy were his singers, so I figured it would be wonderful. Ashley & Natasha have wonderful voices. Jonas has a wonderful beard) AND NOW I'M LISTENING TO THE FREAKING NEWSBOYS. SOMETHING WRONG HERE. WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE. WHAT. WHAAAT.
Okay, nothing a little Pavement & Kid Cudi can't fix.
I'm updating my blog all the time guys. I am.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I satisfy my Maker.
Natasha Koppy has a ridiculously cool voice. I bet she could get a record deal with Team Love or something if she & her boyfriend Mason Gentry would form a folk duo.
It would be cute, and her voice would blow your mind.
Guess I'm just lucky I get to hear her sing all the time (and even more when I'm not on this stupid night schedule anymore! Oh man, I can't wait to get on my new schedule. It's a very brave schedule. Like I get up by 6 three days a week. But I get to see all the Jon Thurlow and Tim Reihmerr sets. It will be wonnnnnderful.)
Anyhow. Life? How is it?
Mine's okay. I feel like every other day I'm either in a great mood or a terrible mood. I'm either thrilled with my situations or I'm super pissed off. As I am writing that last sentence I realize, isn't that pretty normal for ladies? To feel all weird & bipolar like that? Ladies and people trying to search out the Lord I guess.
I'm really excited for the next season in my life, it's going to be a springboard into what the Lord has planned for me. [ihop words in italics] But in all seriousness, I'm really just excited to be moving into a new place with Sarah (and hopefully Tiffany and anyone else we can get to be our roommate,) and the fact that we're going to call it "Dope Pedal Headquarters". Which is pretty funny. That we are naming our future residence after a Cool Kids' lyric.
Blah blah blah blog.
I like the prayer room archives. If I don't watch it when I could possibly be on camera.
I have class now.
(I'm trying to update every day. Hopefully it'll get more interesting. And not suck so hard.)
It would be cute, and her voice would blow your mind.
Guess I'm just lucky I get to hear her sing all the time (and even more when I'm not on this stupid night schedule anymore! Oh man, I can't wait to get on my new schedule. It's a very brave schedule. Like I get up by 6 three days a week. But I get to see all the Jon Thurlow and Tim Reihmerr sets. It will be wonnnnnderful.)
Anyhow. Life? How is it?
Mine's okay. I feel like every other day I'm either in a great mood or a terrible mood. I'm either thrilled with my situations or I'm super pissed off. As I am writing that last sentence I realize, isn't that pretty normal for ladies? To feel all weird & bipolar like that? Ladies and people trying to search out the Lord I guess.
I'm really excited for the next season in my life, it's going to be a springboard into what the Lord has planned for me. [ihop words in italics] But in all seriousness, I'm really just excited to be moving into a new place with Sarah (and hopefully Tiffany and anyone else we can get to be our roommate,) and the fact that we're going to call it "Dope Pedal Headquarters". Which is pretty funny. That we are naming our future residence after a Cool Kids' lyric.
Blah blah blah blog.
I like the prayer room archives. If I don't watch it when I could possibly be on camera.
Reihmerr's team is so hip. Look at those skinny jeans.
I have class now.
(I'm trying to update every day. Hopefully it'll get more interesting. And not suck so hard.)
I lied again.
I said I'd probably write tomorrow. And I didn't. So, okay. Only half a lie.
I've discovered something in the past twentyish hours or so. And by discovered something, I mean, I probably discover this every few months, but I always manage to forget, so (re)discovering this always makes me feel very smart.
This is it: I don't need to try to write well, in order to write well.
Okay, that sounds very prideful of me, I mean, the harder I try to be a good writer the less good things I write. Just like grammer and stuff, you know? If I think too hard about it, and try so hard to be the "great writer" people (my mom) says that I am (maybe) the less I actually write and the little I do write is very contrived and unfinished and honestly doesn't make much sense.
Like portfolio pieces in high school where your teachers just told you to keep adding descriptives and you'll get a good score.
So. That's why I'm writing nonsense entries on this here blog. Because I feel like it will get my back in the swing of writing. And I won't suck at it.
Speaking of writing. I have to write an undated version of my testimony for SEEP (summer early entry program) (taking the classes I didn't take this semester while I was in the internship, so that I can be at the same place I was at last semester, so I don't have to be behind in FSM) and I was just rambling with it (imagine that) with lots of parethetical parts and stuff like that (which is weird for me) and run on sentences... Either way, it was a mess. And I was just sitting in the prayer room next to Sexual Sins Ben [note: I don't know SS Ben, but one time Sarah and I found a prayer request form that he left on his chair on accident, asking for prayer for some "sexual sins" he was dealing with; I'm not sure what this means, but I'm pretty sure that we weren't supposed to see that paper.] And I was just frustrated with myself and my lack of motivation to write this thing was, and I was like "Oh no, I'm not unorganized! How will I ever get my thoughts organized enough to write this paper??" and then I thought. "Oh. I guess I could write an outline."
So I did. I wrote an outline of, more or less, my life.
And it helped so much. So much.
And then I was like "Oh. I AM A GOOD WRITER! AND I KNOW HOW TO WRITE PAPERS! AND I LIKE WRITING PAPERS! I TOTALLY FORGOT! You know, I dropped out of college..."
I'm sorry.
Anyhow. I'm sitting in higher grounds and I just downed my coffee. I mean, downed it. So my fingers are kind of jittery. And all over the place.
Just like my thoughts. I wish an outline would help me in this situation.
I've discovered something in the past twentyish hours or so. And by discovered something, I mean, I probably discover this every few months, but I always manage to forget, so (re)discovering this always makes me feel very smart.
This is it: I don't need to try to write well, in order to write well.
Okay, that sounds very prideful of me, I mean, the harder I try to be a good writer the less good things I write. Just like grammer and stuff, you know? If I think too hard about it, and try so hard to be the "great writer" people (my mom) says that I am (maybe) the less I actually write and the little I do write is very contrived and unfinished and honestly doesn't make much sense.
Like portfolio pieces in high school where your teachers just told you to keep adding descriptives and you'll get a good score.
So. That's why I'm writing nonsense entries on this here blog. Because I feel like it will get my back in the swing of writing. And I won't suck at it.
Speaking of writing. I have to write an undated version of my testimony for SEEP (summer early entry program) (taking the classes I didn't take this semester while I was in the internship, so that I can be at the same place I was at last semester, so I don't have to be behind in FSM) and I was just rambling with it (imagine that) with lots of parethetical parts and stuff like that (which is weird for me) and run on sentences... Either way, it was a mess. And I was just sitting in the prayer room next to Sexual Sins Ben [note: I don't know SS Ben, but one time Sarah and I found a prayer request form that he left on his chair on accident, asking for prayer for some "sexual sins" he was dealing with; I'm not sure what this means, but I'm pretty sure that we weren't supposed to see that paper.] And I was just frustrated with myself and my lack of motivation to write this thing was, and I was like "Oh no, I'm not unorganized! How will I ever get my thoughts organized enough to write this paper??" and then I thought. "Oh. I guess I could write an outline."
So I did. I wrote an outline of, more or less, my life.
And it helped so much. So much.
And then I was like "Oh. I AM A GOOD WRITER! AND I KNOW HOW TO WRITE PAPERS! AND I LIKE WRITING PAPERS! I TOTALLY FORGOT! You know, I dropped out of college..."
I'm sorry.
Anyhow. I'm sitting in higher grounds and I just downed my coffee. I mean, downed it. So my fingers are kind of jittery. And all over the place.
Just like my thoughts. I wish an outline would help me in this situation.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Just some verses I've been thinking about lately. I mean, I'm not going to offer comentary, but I will give you some verses that have been spiraling though my head.
And just because my brain is in a million places, and it's three in the morning, and I have half of the night left to be lost in my thoughts, I figured I'd share some of them.
Do not be overly righteous, nor be overly wise; Why should you ruin yourself?
-Ecclesiastes 7:16
Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God.
-Psalms 146:5
His foundation is in the Holy Mountains. The Lord loves the Gates of Zion more than all the dwellings of Jacob. Glorious things are spoken of you, O city of God.
-Psalms 87:1-3
Blessed are the people who know the joyful sound! They walk, O Lord, in the light of your countenance.
-Psalm 89:15
(side note: Micah, you just walked so close to my desk that you almost knocked my notebook off...I feel like that was VERY unnecessary.)
...That your love would abound still more and more.
-Phillipians 1:9ish
No more will anyone call you Rejected,
and your country will no more be called Ruined.
You'll be called Hephzibah (My Delight),
and your land Beulah (Married),
Because God delights in you
and your land will be like a wedding celebration.
For as a young man marries his virgin bride,
so your builder marries you,
And as a bridegroom is happy in his bride,
so your God is happy with you.
-Isaiah 62
Dance, dance, dear Shulammite, Angel-Princess!
Dance, and we'll feast our eyes on your grace!
Everyone wants to see the Shulammite dance
her victory dances of love and peace.
-Song of Songs 6:13 (message)
9 And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, 10 that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, 11 being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
-Philippians 1:9-11
8 The Lord raises the poor up from the dust,
and he lifts the needy from the ashes.
He lets the poor sit with princes
and receive a throne of honor.
-1 Samuel 2:8
I slept tonight at the awakening service. Anytime anyone sleeps at the awakenings I think it's funny. This is probably becuase I have a terrible sense of humor and it's just a great pun, that someone would sleep during something that it called an "awakening". Either way it's funny and silly that I slept. It's really loud at the awakening.
Also came to the realization at the Awakening that even though someone who had a great beard shaved it, they're actually way cute. Even without it.
I am easily distracted.
My hair is long enough to wear in a bun.
I'm trying not to overthink things.
I snuck out and went to the 8am set in the PR this morning, and it was wonderful. I feel like it was not a good idea for multiple reasons. Firstly, I was breaking cerfew, which I'm trying NOT to do (I have been every day of the whole internship. Broken curfew.) And it just made me realize how good the daytime sets are. And how much I'd want to go to the prayer room during those sets. How good the music is, the vocalists, just the fact that it's not three in the morning.
Only 65 more days. I just have to keep telling myself that.
And 8 of those days (only 8) are days off. So only 57 more days.
That is a big number.
I'm going to smash my face on the table now.
I'll probably talk to you tomorrow, blog.
Later Days. Like they said on the Weekenders.
Or, like the LDS church... only, missing a letter.
And just because my brain is in a million places, and it's three in the morning, and I have half of the night left to be lost in my thoughts, I figured I'd share some of them.
Do not be overly righteous, nor be overly wise; Why should you ruin yourself?
-Ecclesiastes 7:16
Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God.
-Psalms 146:5
His foundation is in the Holy Mountains. The Lord loves the Gates of Zion more than all the dwellings of Jacob. Glorious things are spoken of you, O city of God.
-Psalms 87:1-3
Blessed are the people who know the joyful sound! They walk, O Lord, in the light of your countenance.
-Psalm 89:15
(side note: Micah, you just walked so close to my desk that you almost knocked my notebook off...I feel like that was VERY unnecessary.)
...That your love would abound still more and more.
-Phillipians 1:9ish
No more will anyone call you Rejected,
and your country will no more be called Ruined.
You'll be called Hephzibah (My Delight),
and your land Beulah (Married),
Because God delights in you
and your land will be like a wedding celebration.
For as a young man marries his virgin bride,
so your builder marries you,
And as a bridegroom is happy in his bride,
so your God is happy with you.
-Isaiah 62
Dance, dance, dear Shulammite, Angel-Princess!
Dance, and we'll feast our eyes on your grace!
Everyone wants to see the Shulammite dance
her victory dances of love and peace.
-Song of Songs 6:13 (message)
9 And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, 10 that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, 11 being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
-Philippians 1:9-11
8 The Lord raises the poor up from the dust,
and he lifts the needy from the ashes.
He lets the poor sit with princes
and receive a throne of honor.
-1 Samuel 2:8
I slept tonight at the awakening service. Anytime anyone sleeps at the awakenings I think it's funny. This is probably becuase I have a terrible sense of humor and it's just a great pun, that someone would sleep during something that it called an "awakening". Either way it's funny and silly that I slept. It's really loud at the awakening.
Also came to the realization at the Awakening that even though someone who had a great beard shaved it, they're actually way cute. Even without it.
I am easily distracted.
My hair is long enough to wear in a bun.
I'm trying not to overthink things.
I snuck out and went to the 8am set in the PR this morning, and it was wonderful. I feel like it was not a good idea for multiple reasons. Firstly, I was breaking cerfew, which I'm trying NOT to do (I have been every day of the whole internship. Broken curfew.) And it just made me realize how good the daytime sets are. And how much I'd want to go to the prayer room during those sets. How good the music is, the vocalists, just the fact that it's not three in the morning.
Only 65 more days. I just have to keep telling myself that.
And 8 of those days (only 8) are days off. So only 57 more days.
That is a big number.
I'm going to smash my face on the table now.
I'll probably talk to you tomorrow, blog.
Later Days. Like they said on the Weekenders.
Or, like the LDS church... only, missing a letter.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Cause I, I don't want, I don't want your life insurance.
I am listening to Andrew Bird today.
There is something very...comfortable and happy about his music. It reminds me of good times. Warm days in Kansas. Meeting him. Driving around Rabbit Hash in the summertime when I got off work early blaring the Mysterious Production of Eggs.... It's good. I don't know. I like it.
I feel like I could possibly have more to say about Andrew Bird's impact of my psyche. But a later date, perhaps.
Today it rained. I sat in my bed this morning plotting my future life, playing brick breaker on my cell, and listening to rain hit the window. I thought about how I need to run this summer. Or at least walk. I need to continue the trend of all my pants being way too big, and if I actually try I feel as if it won't be impossible to not feel as gross as I've felt for the past...years. And I was thinking about how I need to fill my future closet with clothes that will look cute without trying. And I thought about how I need to wake up early in the morning (when I'm not staying up all night). And I thought about how somehow all of these things would help me get a husband. And then I tried to picture myself marrying people.... unfortunately real people, who I don't actually know very well and probably shouldn't be picturing myself marrying while trying to get to sleep at nine in the morning on a rainy Thursday. This was a terrible idea. But that's what I do. So I guess, it doesn't really matter.
I've been spending too much time on Wedding blogs again. I guess I'm hormonal. I guess it's spring.
A lot of people have been shaving their beards. Which is weird, because I"m learning that some people aren't as cute as I thought they were. They only had nice beards.
I've decided my husband (whoever he may be) should be the cutest clean shaven, but be able to grow a decent beard. This may be a lot to ask. But I don't feel like it is.
Especially if I marry any of the people I was imagining marrying earlier this morning (which I probably will not. but if I were, I'd be golden.)
Is shaven not a word?
Anathallo is really good. I can't get enough of their Hymns album.
2 The Gentiles shall see your righteousness,
And all kings your glory.
You shall be called by a new name,
Which the mouth of the LORD will name.
3 You shall also be a crown of glory
In the hand of the LORD,
And a royal diadem
In the hand of your God.
4 You shall no longer be termed Forsaken,
Nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate;
But you shall be called Hephzibah,[a] and your land Beulah;[b]
For the LORD delights in you,
And your land shall be married.
5 For as a young man marries a virgin,
So shall your sons marry you;
And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
Soshall your God rejoice over you.
-Isaiah 62:2-5
There is something very...comfortable and happy about his music. It reminds me of good times. Warm days in Kansas. Meeting him. Driving around Rabbit Hash in the summertime when I got off work early blaring the Mysterious Production of Eggs.... It's good. I don't know. I like it.
I feel like I could possibly have more to say about Andrew Bird's impact of my psyche. But a later date, perhaps.
Today it rained. I sat in my bed this morning plotting my future life, playing brick breaker on my cell, and listening to rain hit the window. I thought about how I need to run this summer. Or at least walk. I need to continue the trend of all my pants being way too big, and if I actually try I feel as if it won't be impossible to not feel as gross as I've felt for the past...years. And I was thinking about how I need to fill my future closet with clothes that will look cute without trying. And I thought about how I need to wake up early in the morning (when I'm not staying up all night). And I thought about how somehow all of these things would help me get a husband. And then I tried to picture myself marrying people.... unfortunately real people, who I don't actually know very well and probably shouldn't be picturing myself marrying while trying to get to sleep at nine in the morning on a rainy Thursday. This was a terrible idea. But that's what I do. So I guess, it doesn't really matter.
I've been spending too much time on Wedding blogs again. I guess I'm hormonal. I guess it's spring.
A lot of people have been shaving their beards. Which is weird, because I"m learning that some people aren't as cute as I thought they were. They only had nice beards.
I've decided my husband (whoever he may be) should be the cutest clean shaven, but be able to grow a decent beard. This may be a lot to ask. But I don't feel like it is.
Especially if I marry any of the people I was imagining marrying earlier this morning (which I probably will not. but if I were, I'd be golden.)
Is shaven not a word?
Anathallo is really good. I can't get enough of their Hymns album.
2 The Gentiles shall see your righteousness,
And all kings your glory.
You shall be called by a new name,
Which the mouth of the LORD will name.
3 You shall also be a crown of glory
In the hand of the LORD,
And a royal diadem
In the hand of your God.
4 You shall no longer be termed Forsaken,
Nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate;
But you shall be called Hephzibah,[a] and your land Beulah;[b]
For the LORD delights in you,
And your land shall be married.
5 For as a young man marries a virgin,
So shall your sons marry you;
And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
Soshall your God rejoice over you.
-Isaiah 62:2-5
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Oh, you know...
I have updated any kind of blog in a long time. I say this meaning that tumblr doesn't count.
So, here I am. Blogging yet again (don't expect much, or any type of consistency. I don't.)
There is too much to tell, so little time...Well, that's not really true. I have plenty of time, if you think about it, I have all the time in the world right now. I should be sleeping, I'm not, so that's a ridiculous amount of time. But you know what I mean.
Where should I start. Talking. About. What. huh.
Well, here's the basic run down: I'm in Kansas City, I'm living a weird opposite life. I wake up at three or four in the afternoon (if I'm lucky...five...six....) and go to classes, I go to revival services, I laugh and cry and lay on my face with the power of God on my shoulders, I go into the prayer room at midnight every night and leave a little after six in the morning.... sometimes I go to the coffee shop with my friend Sarah (a pure gift from God she is, also she likes The Lonely Island and is from Scanton PA--just like the office) and laugh and talk about things that have happened over the past day or so. I am also living in a weird old apartment with five other girls (I don't like very much, but God is teaching me to live in grace.) I'm all messed up, and I don't know if I could live this way much longer than I have to (72 more days...) But it's definitely messed me up in a good way.
How are you? Life working well for you? Happy for the spring? Unhappy with allergy season?
Yeah, me too.
The other day I walked barefoot in the rain, it made me hope for summer. And today I'm out in the sun, I never want to not be out in the sun. Also, the Jon Foreman eps are still kicking my butt, and I haven't listened to any new good music in months, God is teaching me to do without.
I met a dog named Awesome the Possum. And I drove a guy's car which I didn't have to change the seat or mirrors or anything (he's taller than me, we just must drive in the same exact spot) which is kind of funny.
I'm going to try to put my laptop to good use and blog in the prayer room.
We'll see.
Listen to Pedro the Lion. And Jon Thurlow. And read the Psalms.
end of my nonsensical entry.
So, here I am. Blogging yet again (don't expect much, or any type of consistency. I don't.)
There is too much to tell, so little time...Well, that's not really true. I have plenty of time, if you think about it, I have all the time in the world right now. I should be sleeping, I'm not, so that's a ridiculous amount of time. But you know what I mean.
Where should I start. Talking. About. What. huh.
Well, here's the basic run down: I'm in Kansas City, I'm living a weird opposite life. I wake up at three or four in the afternoon (if I'm lucky...five...six....) and go to classes, I go to revival services, I laugh and cry and lay on my face with the power of God on my shoulders, I go into the prayer room at midnight every night and leave a little after six in the morning.... sometimes I go to the coffee shop with my friend Sarah (a pure gift from God she is, also she likes The Lonely Island and is from Scanton PA--just like the office) and laugh and talk about things that have happened over the past day or so. I am also living in a weird old apartment with five other girls (I don't like very much, but God is teaching me to live in grace.) I'm all messed up, and I don't know if I could live this way much longer than I have to (72 more days...) But it's definitely messed me up in a good way.
How are you? Life working well for you? Happy for the spring? Unhappy with allergy season?
Yeah, me too.
The other day I walked barefoot in the rain, it made me hope for summer. And today I'm out in the sun, I never want to not be out in the sun. Also, the Jon Foreman eps are still kicking my butt, and I haven't listened to any new good music in months, God is teaching me to do without.
I met a dog named Awesome the Possum. And I drove a guy's car which I didn't have to change the seat or mirrors or anything (he's taller than me, we just must drive in the same exact spot) which is kind of funny.
I'm going to try to put my laptop to good use and blog in the prayer room.
We'll see.
Listen to Pedro the Lion. And Jon Thurlow. And read the Psalms.
end of my nonsensical entry.
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